If Only

If only you knew how terrified i am

I Wish ...

... you would realize that you always make my day

我

在等你好起来

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Isn't it amazing how a person who was once just a stranger, means the world to you

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It's hard to find someone who knows your everything and love you anyway.

Goodbye

Rain

Lately I don't know why, I always find myself standing under the rain. Maybe it's because no one would know I'm crying.

Have U Ever

Have you ever confuse about whether the world around you changes or the only thing that changes was you?

Me(lost count)

I listen to friends around me;
who listen to me?

I Thought

I thought i were near all those time but actually i was miles away.

I miss you

离开不会太悲伤
有些心情该释放
直到眼泪它自己落下
才发现骗不了自己
其实很爱你

现在学着去遗忘
躲开有你的地方
回忆被谁放在书架上
把他从最高的地方落下

感动越是深刻
寂寞就越伤人喔
每个人的心里都
会有一段伤痕

梦

我其实很明白 梦醒了就不在
只是还挣扎着不让他离开
紧紧抓着的也都是空白

Birthday

My birthday wish this year is to wish that SHE can have another wish.

It Sang Like This

我以為
品冠


妳曾說不想有天讓我知道　
妳對他　有那麼好
妳說會懂　我的失落　
不是靠寬容　就能夠解脫

我以為我出現的時候剛好　
妳和他　正說要分開
我以為妳　已對他不再期待　
不縱容他　再給妳傷害

我以為我的溫柔　能給妳整個宇宙　
我以為我能全力　填滿妳感情的缺口
專心陪在妳左右　彌補他一切的錯　
也許我太過天真　以為奇蹟會發生

他讓妳紅了眼眶　妳卻還笑著原諒
原來妳早就想好妳要留在誰的身旁
我以為我夠堅強　卻一天天的失望
少給我一點希望　希望就不是奢望

我以為終究妳會慢慢明白　
他的心　已不在妳身上
我的關心　妳依然無動於衷　
我的以為　只是我以為

Grief

it isn't just death we have to grieve. It's life... it's loss... it's change. And when we wonder why it has to suck so much sometimes, has to hurt so bad...the thing we have to try to remember is that it can turn on a dime...

That's how you stay alive. When it hurts so much which makes you can't breathe, that's how you survive... grief comes in its own time for everyone...in its own way. So the best we can do...the best anyone can do, is try for honesty..the very worst part of grief, is that you can't control it. The best we can do is try to let ourselves feel it when it comes... and let it go when we can. the very worst part is that the minute you think you're past it, it starts all over again and always, every time.. it takes your breath away.

Say it

did you say it? i love u,i don ever wanna live without u,u changed my life. did u say it? make a plan, set a goal, work towards it. but every now and again, look around...drink it in, coz this is it. it might all be gone tomorrow

Trauma

Trauma messes everybody up.maybe that.s the point. all the pain and the fear and the crap..maybe going through all that is what keeps us moving foward.it what pushes us.maybe we mus get a little messed up before we can step up

The Square Root of 3

I fear that I will always be
A lonely number like root three
A three is all that's good and right,
Why must my three keep out of sight
Beneath a vicious square root sign,
I wish instead I were a nine
For nine could thwart this evil trick,
with just some quick arithmetic
I know I'll never see the sun, as 1.7321
Such is my reality, a sad irrationality
When hark! What is this I see,
Another square root of a three
Has quietly come waltzing by,
Together now we multiply
To form a number we prefer,
Rejoicing as an integer
We break free from our mortal bonds
And with a wave of magic wands
Our square root signs become unglued
And love for me has been renewed.

(From the movie, "Harold and Kumar")
Lame but cool..LOL

For Your Eye Only

It’s been quite some time since I talked to you. I really miss the days when we always hang out talking and laughing at each other. Lately I have no more reason to find you anymore. Sometime when I think of you and I feel like finding you, I always hesitate, I don’t want to be some kind of annoyance for you. Last time every day I always look forward to the evening where I have the reason to find you and we can cooked together.


Somehow I know I still have feelings for you inside me. Sometime when I saw you, I just cannot take my eyes of f you. But I understand those feelings will find itself ending one-sided. Maybe someday those feelings will fade away slowly. As the day goes by, when I think of you, I will always listen to Leona Lewis – Here I Am. The song shows all the things I want you to know and it will remind me that we are always friends.


Looking back on the days when I started to know you until now. I figure I wouldn’t be the guy I’m now if isn’t for you. You really taught me a lot, from being a good friend to being a good cook.  Just want to say thanks for making me a better guy in all the ways. I never regret meeting you. You will always be a star for me, too far to reach but no harm to wish on.

Guess here is how I conclude everything of my feelings.

HER (10)

This is a crazy world
These can be lonely days
It's hard to know who's on your side
Most of the time

Who can you really trust
Who do you really know
Is there anybody out there
Who can make you feel less alone
Sometimes you just can't make it on your own

If you need a place where you can run
If you need a shoulder to cry on
I'll always be your friend
When you need some shelter from the rain
When you need a healer for your pain
I will be there time and time again
When you need someone to love you
Here I am

If you have broken dreams
Just lay them all on me
I'll be the one who understands
So take my hand

If there is emptiness
You know I'll do my best
To fill you up with all the love
That I can show someone
I promise you you'll never walk alone

Well if you need a place where you can run
If you need a shoulder to cry on
Well I'll always be your friend
When you need some shelter from the rain
When you need a healer for your pain
I will be there time and time again
When you need someone to love you here I am

Everybody needs somebody who
They can pour their heart and soul into

Well if you need a place where you can run
If you need a shoulder to cry on
I'll always be your friend
When you need a shelter from the rain
When you need a healer for your pain
I will be there time and time again
When you need someone to love you
Here I am

ME (14)

I notice she doesn’t really want to talk to me lately. Maybe I think too much but the feeling is so real and it gets me every time she looks away from me. I just should have known that she will avoid me in some way because I let her know about my feeling and people around must be saying a lot of things to her. I wish I can apologize to her for that. For making her so uncomfortable. If she really doesn’t wish to see me, I’m willing to go away. I’m sure I can endure the pain. I already lost count how many times this thing happened to me.

I know after all the things I did for her and still cannot touch her. Maybe she doesn’t meant for me. Maybe I should learn to forget her.

ME (13)

It’s been quite some time since I told her my feeling. I didn’t push it or anything because I know now is not the best timing.

Recently, I know she is quite moody so I figured that maybe I could do something to cheer her up or at least make her smile. I drew a few pages of comic of the conversation which we had before and made it into a booklet and gave her. She told me she likes it a lot and she called me a good friend. Although I don’t really like the good-friend thing but what to do right? At least I reached my purpose which is making her smile. Although drawing those comic took me few days time to complete it but thinking about those comic that can make her smile will make everything worth doing.

Yesterday, some friend of hers asked her to go clubbing. At first she didn’t want to go but she couldn’t reject. I was kind of worried so I decided to follow. So I went up to those friends and ask whether I can follow or not, they kind of ignored what I’ve said. Figure as so that I know they wouldn’t want me to go because one of their friend likes her too, who was also going that night. I didn’t know what to do and I know I had to go because she didn’t know anyone there except that guy there. I knew if she want to go home earlier, she had a problem. I went up to my housemates and borrowed car to go by myself. One of my housemate was nice enough to accompany me.
After that, I sent her back earlier. I didn’t regret doing all those so called thick-face thing where I went without them inviting me.

I’m not trying to prove anything by doing all those things and sacrificing for her. I’m just trying to make sure she is happy and safe. Maybe I wish we can be more than friends someday but that’s not what I can control. Jus wait and see what God has in store for me.

ME (12)

Lately I know she already has a lot of problems of her own to think about. For now, it seems like I’m her only friend around her who she can really talk to with her problems. It’s hard seeing her with all her burden and I can’t do anything to help.

Although I always wish to let her know about my feeling and hope maybe can change the thing between us. But I know after she knows about my feeling, she won’t talk to me about all your problems anymore. And after that all she does is hiding everything to yourself.

What I can do now is staying with her listening to everything she says and be her friend.


Maybe one day she will understand how I feel.

ME (11)

盼不到我爱的人
我知道我愿意再等
疼不了爱我的人
片刻柔情它骗不了人
我不是无情的人
却将你伤的最深
我不忍我不能
别再认真
忘了我的人
离不开我爱的人
我知道爱需要缘分
放不下爱我的人
因为了解他多么认真
为什么最真的心
碰不到最好的人
我不问我不能
拥在怀中
直到他变冷

爱我的人为我痴心不悔
我却为我爱的人甘心一生伤悲
在乎的人始终不对
谁对谁不必虚伪
爱我的人为我付出一切
我却为我爱的人流泪狂乱心碎
爱与被爱同样受罪
为什么不懂拒绝痴情的包围

ME (10)

I’m quiet staying beside you as I always make sure you are happy;
Just like the air floating around you.
While everyone is busy laughing and having so much fun,
Maybe just a smile at my face at the corner.
Stealing a glance at you, the way you laugh and smile .

You always like to fill me up with the happy moments with him,
And I always like my calm take over me as I pretend I’m fine.
I know I’m always a side actor acting in those unimportant moments
I really wish one day I will have the very big moment of us in your life
If you could hear the sound of heartbroken,
If you could hear the sound of missing someone,
You would hear me.

ME (9)

It’s been a few times I text her after she left miri but she never reply. Wondering what keep her so busy at the moment. Or maybe there is something to do with me and she doesn’t want to talk to me anymore, or I’m thinking too much again? Haha. Oh well.

ME (8)

It’s been around more than a week since I last saw her and I know I won’t be seeing her for this 3 months. I’m starting to miss her. In the night when everything starts quiet down, I know I will start thinking about her, wanting to know what’s she doing right there, wanting to feel her close to me somehow. But I know I have no reason to do all those so just let those empty thoughts fill my nights.


Good night……

ME (7)

I’m afraid every time friends talk about you because I know I will be thinking of you from that moment on.

I’m afraid every time when I’m so free I will start wondering what are you doing there and feel like seeing you.

I’m afraid every time friends ask me about me treating you better because I don’t want you to know about my feelings, I don’t want to change anything between us.

I’m afraid every time I start thinking about you because I know you won’t be in my life starting from that moment.

I’m afraid every time when you start treating me weird as if you know the way I feel for u because I know I fall for a wonderful girl who I cannot have.

I’m afraid every time the air starts to get very quiet because I can hear the sound of missing someone.


I’m afraid I cannot see you.

ME (6)

Spending my gloomy day with my lectures notes, lying on my bed. Suddenly she flew into my head, felt like talking to her but I couldn’t a reason to do so. So ended up instead of me reading my lecture notes, my lecture notes is trying to read my thinking-of-her face.

After awhile, I gave it a try on texting her although I know she either will takes years to reply or no reply at all. Waiting for her to reply just seem to be forever though just a few minutes. LOL.

While waiting, I get my head back on reading my notes. Just before my eyelids fall, a familiar sound from phone grabbed my attention. It was her.

HER (9)

I miss her a little, I guess you could say a little too much, a little too often, and a little more each day.